This our GIFT.  Words cannot truly describe, but i will try.

I get overwhelmed when i look at her.  She is perfect.  She always was perfect and yet i fretted throughout my entire pregnancy.  Such needless worry.  God is good.  God is faithful.  I had clear visions of this perfect baby, yet i continued to worry.  A true doubting Thomas.  Of course i know God understood my fears.  And he held my hand the entire time...never getting frustrated with me.  Only loving me through my  fears....knowing He would show himself faithful....no matter what the outcome!

And the outcome.....well here you have it!  More than we could ever have prayed for.  An absolutely perfect baby girl that is the best baby i have ever known.  Seriously.  When you hold her she just melts right into you.  She sleeps a plenty.  And when she cries (which is not very often), you can always do something that will make her stop crying....amazing!  And the smiles...oh the smiles!  This girl wakes up smiling.  She is so happy.  I just melt when she flashes that dimple on her right cheek...like a kiss from an angel!

And she gets so excited when she sees her big brother or sister....it is just precious how she responds to them.  Otis is such a sweet brother.  He loves to pick her up and carry her around.  When we were driving to Mom's the other day (a 2 hour drive), she woke up about 20 minutes from my Mom's crying because she was hungry.  The next exit wasn't for 5 miles so the kids were trying to calm her down but she was determined to let us know she was hungry.  I heard this wimper and I look in my rear view mirror and Otis is crying.  He hated to see Esmé so upset....it just broke his heart.  He said "Mommy, please just pull over to the side of the road and feed her!"  He couldn't bear it.  How precious.  He is my soft hearted little boy....going to make such a good husband.

And Ruby of course is in heaven.  She loves to hold Esmé and sing her songs she makes up about her.  And yesterday i heard her say, "Esmé i love you more than ice cream."  WOW!  Seriously folks,  that's a LOT of love!

 

Well that's just a little tid-bit of what's been happening around here since our GIFT has arrived.  I really want to post more...but i have been so wrapped up in just enjoying her and taking everything in, it's been hard to take the time.

 

But most of all, let this post be a PRAISE to JESUS for our sweet GIFT!  And a THANK YOU, THANK YOU to all my sweet friends who have prayed for this baby and this mama and the rest of our sweet family.  You have truly carried us and we are oh so grateful!

 

LOVE.

So i've been wanting to make a quilt for a while now but it allows seemed so intimidating...well the one's my grandmother makes ARE intmidating...she's amazing.  But when i went to my sweet sister-in-laws baby shower at this cute little hip quilt shop in downtown Asheville i fell head over heals for this fabric that came in a layer cake....which is basically a package of pre-cut squares in a bundle....quilting for dummies i'd say. :)  i thought to myself..."now i could handle that!"  And handle it i did.  Of course, it is far from perfect, but i had fun and it was pretty easy...espcially since i wanted to keep it small.  I am all about instant gratification. :)

I sure can't wait to wrap little Esmé in it!   

Yeah, so, i have this awesome friend named Melanie.  She is a dear dear friend and amazing artist.  This woman NEEDS to blog.  If she did, she would be famous, seriously.  I am always inspired when i go to her house...it is an explosion of creativity.  SHE is an explosion of creativity.  Yeah, i guess you'd say she is my girl crush.  :)  We actually have a date this thursday night. tee hee.  Ok, i better stop before she starts getting the creeps.

Oh how i do adore you though Melanie.

Anyway...this dear friend of mine had the coolest backpack diaper bag.  When i asked her where she got it, she said she wasn't sure, that she got it as a gift but does recall that it was pretty pricey....BUT she did make a pattern out of it (because it really is the coolest bag ever) that i was welcome to use. EVEN BETTER!  Now i can pick out my own fabric and have something to keep my hands busy during these great days of anticipation!

So i did.

And drum roll please.....here you have it!  So excited for this puppy to be packed with the sweet scent of baby Esmé.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A few things of note:

- this was my first time doing button holes...go me!

- this was also my first time doing pipping...not so hard...yeah!

- and the fabric i used for the outside is called quilters tweed.  it was a yummy discovery.

Ok, so yes, i am pretty much just going thru my christmas pictures.  And for blog's sake i wanted to post some christmas highlights. :)

 

Keeping it simple decorations:

The get-away:

We rented my friends cabin for christmas and it was so sweet and simple:

- we cut down our own charlie brown christmas tree

- we even had an ugliest christmas ornament contest to decorate it!  So funny.

- my mom and step-dad and the kids put on a christmas skit

- we snuggled by the fire

- AND my little girl lost her first tooth on christmas eve!  We had a fun time joking about the tooth fairy hitching a ride with santa claus.

 

We had so many laughs playing board games, cooking, hanging out in the hot tub and playing just dance on the Wii.  It was truly a christmas of memories to treasure. :)

Ruby has been writing stories for a few years now and i just love it!  She always wants Daddy and I to write them down for her and i never hesitate.  I just love her thoughts.  They NEED to be written down.

 

 

Always God loves you when it was nighttime and daytime.

Every day God loves you.  He always loves you.

Every day He does.

 

When God sees you, He always gives you presents.

Even when He comes towards you.

And He loves you always.

Always He loves you.

 

God comes to you.

And God is your friend and He is your Master.

Always He gives you presents.

 

God helps you get back home if you are lost.

And then they were home, back home.

 

He helps you to not be scared at nighttime.

You have to say "You are not real" to something you are scared of.

 

When God loves you, He gives His love always.

He gives presents.

His presents are His love.

 

God always keeps you safe when a lion is chasing you.

He gives His love to all people.

Jesus too.

 

Everybody loves God.

Who doesn't love God is bad guys.

When everybody loves God, God loves them too.

And everybody loves Him, always.

 

by Ruby Sansbury

Age: 6

 

Priceless!  Seriously.  I could read that every day.  I NEED to read that every day.  It is so simple, so true.  And i love the way she keeps repeating that God loves you.  As if to say "Do you get it already!?  He loves you! He will always love you!"  I mean how often do i question that with my thoughts and actions and pleadings.  Seriously.  This book is brilliant.  Don't you agree?

I ended up re-printing it for the grandparents for Christmas.  :)

 

This is one of the first things she ever wrote.  She was 4 years old.  She drew the tree as well and i stitched it into permanent existence because i just loved it so much.  Then i wrote her "poem" with fabric pen.  A true treasure hanging in our living room.

 

Trees blowing,

when i was outside with Daddy

and he was watching me.

 

And Grammy was in the car

and i hopped in the car

and buckled myself up.

 

And it was windy out,

my hair was blowing back.

 

When it was nighttime

we went to Camille's house.

 

LOVE IT!

 

And i really hope this picture turns into a book someday soon :)  Awesome!

 

"I know what i want to be for Halloween this year Mommy!"  exclaims Otis

"Oh yeah, what?" I reply

"A scarey BUSH!"  says Otis

"A scarey bush?" I say, puzzled.  "I don't even know what that means?"  I say as we both start cracking up, realizing how silly that sounds.

After we gather our composure Otis explains.  "You know, like on Scooby-Doo when they hide behind a bush and it moves when the other person isn't looking and someone says, 'i don't remember planting a bush there'."

 

Oh how i LOVE kids creativity.  I don't know what 7 year old boy wants to be a moving bush for Halloween, but mine does!  And i love it!  So we had to make it happen.  And happen it did!

And here is Otis in action.  Many people asked if they could take a picture of him.  He was a big hit.  You can see his little feet sticking out in this pic.

And Ruby knew a long time ago she wanted to be a bat.  Although i made her costume in about 30 minutes the day before Halloween.  I thought she might want to wear this cute black skirt with it, but she adamently replied.

"I don't want to be a CUTE bat mommy, i want to be a SCAREY bat!"

In fact, she wanted me to "make" her a branch she could jump down from after she rang the doorbell.

I have to admit, this is so much more fun for me than her wanting to be a princess (which has only happened once so far thank goodness).  I actually overheard her talking to her little girlfriends at gymnastics the other day when they were all chatting about what they were for Halloween and i heard Ruby say, "Yeah, and next year i want to be a ZOMBIE! and i'm going to paint blood coming out of my mouth!"   I wish you could have seen the look of distress on the other little girls face.  It was priceless.  Oh happy day!  Does that make me twisted?  If so, i guess i'm taking Ruby along for the ride.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We also had our 8th Annual Haunted House.  The theme this year was Aliens.

I'm sure James will post the pics and video on Facebook at some point.  It was a lot of fun as usual.  Otis played the part of an investigator (after trick or treating for a bit) who ended up getting chloroformed...he was so animated and awesome!  Ruby stayed dressed as a bat and hid inside the maze popping out and scaring teenage boys.  :)  Here is a pic of the whole gang!

Oh how we do love Halloween!  Hope yours was terrifying! :)

For my sister who i love more than she could ever possbily know and for whom i wish i could wash away all the pain. I stand in awe of your strength, yet crumble at each thought of the depth of your heartbreak.  I pray for healing....true healing...that only God can bring.

 

Love is the Lord.  He hears each cry,

His gentleness is great,

No wounded heart will he pass by

Nor leave it desolate.

For in his love he stoops to be

At one in all our misery.

Love is the Lord.  Love casts out fear!

He breaketh all sin's chains;

The moan of sin-sick hearts he hears

And feeleth all their pains.

There is no wrong that men can do

But God's own Lamb must suffer too.

Oh, understand if you can!

('Tis Love himself who pleads)

Whene'r you wound a son of man

The Son of God still bleeds.

And not till sin is wholly slain

Can God's own heart be healed of pain.

From Mountains of Spices by Hannah Hurnard

 

I miss you Tyler, my sweet nephew.  But i do not greive for you.  You are in your glory...getting ready to celebrate your 21st birthday like only God can throw a party!  But i do greive for us, for my sweet sista, who has to endure this time apart from you.  We are hurt and broken, for "now we see things imperfectly as in a cloudy mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity." 1 cor 13:12.  Oh how i can't wait for the day that our minds will be washed away of the thoughts of how needless your death was...and for our eyes to opened to the beauty that God brought out of it all.  I have a feeling the look of pure joy on your face when we meet again will explain it all.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What a precious gift and a joy it was to love you here on earth.  The memories are a sustaining balm.

Thank you Jesus for the gift of Tyler.  And thank you Jesus for the gift of my Sista.

I love you Kerrie.

Trusting that God will carry you through tomorrow.

 

It is no secret that we long for own little farm someday.  And, since we are not promised tomorrow, and our desire is to live life to fullest where we are, we decided to just bring the farm to us!  (And if God decides to move us someday, that will be cool too :).  But seriously folks, it's not like we are living on a postage stamp here in GA, no, we actually have 3 acres just waiting to be enjoyed. So after reading this really cool book that i can't remember the name of (if i think of it, i'll let you know) where this girl talked about self-sustained living not only on like 1/4 of acre but with rental property!...i was inspired.   Needless to say, we started a garden and got ourselves some chickens!  It's a start right?!

So here are our sweet girls....

Laura.  A blue cochin.  I just love their furry legs.  Laura LOVES to perch.  Ruby has claimed her as her own.

 

Millie!  Ok, i have to admit, i love Millie.  And so does James.  She's our favorite.  She is a Silkie and if you have never seen what a grown silkie looks like, you must click on the link.  She's quirky and crazy and sweet.  Definitely acts like the mother of the bunch.  Unfortunately she has a hurt leg right now.  :(  I'm not sure if she sprained it or has an infection.  We sure hope she will be ok.

 

 

Gilbert.  A buff cochin.  Gilbert is our special needs chick.  Don't laugh.  She's got a crooked beak and looks kinda dumbfounded when all the other girls are pecking around...as if saying "duh...why are you guys doing that?"  Also one of her toes is just kinda of a nub.  Sorry, but true.  We still love her. :)

 

 

And our latest additions...George and Pippi.  They are Rhode Island Reds...so your more stereotypical chicks that will give us lots of large brown eggs! Yum!

This is George.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And here's Pippi playing hide and go seek in the garden.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yes, we are far too attached to these babies already.  In fact, the lady we got them from couldn't guarantee any of them to be girls.  So if we end up with a Roo (or several) we are going to be very sad since we will probably have to trade them out (if we don't want our neighbors to hate us).  Heck!  I don't want anyone crowin' in my ear at the crack of dawn either!

 

They provide us with lots of entertainment right now.  They are still in the house under a heat lamp, although we let them out in the yard and the garden once a day to peck around.  James should be done with the coop this weekend, which is looking amazing a usual.  That man never ceases to amaze me. :)  The bigger girls will probably move out to the coop but George and Pippi will need to stay inside for a few more weeks....although, they do not like to be apart.  We'll see.  It's all a learning curve, but a very welcomed one as you can see.

 

And yes, even Molly (our vicious pit bull) enjoys them.  She thinks they're her puppies acutally.

I will continue to watch this tree bloom year after year and think of you.   I was in shock last year when it began to bear fruit the first year we planted it!  Even more of a reminder of you and how you were bearing much fruit so young.  Those who were blessed enough to sup with you and eat of your fruit will forever be changed.  It is true.

 

"...Love and Pain go together, for a time at least.  If you would know Love, you must know Pain too."

 

This statement from the book Hinds Feet On High Places by Hannah Hurnard has become such a revelation to me over the past few years.  I always imagined them as arch-enemies....where one rules the other cannot.  But it is not so, they are partners.  I am remined of this by the joy i feel as i reminisce on a friend so true....that ends up in a stream of tears.  Or by the tears of sorrow and pain that end up with a roar of laughter as i am brought back once again to the joy and love.  They reveal one another, for one cannot exist without the other....for a time at least.  Oh yes, that is the key. For you now, it is all Love.  Oh happy day, when we will join you.

 

So today i embrace the pain that reflects a love so deep.  A friend so true.

 

We miss you dear Tony.